Elements Combined

It would be impossible for me to make a list of everything I learned and saw during my ten 12-hour emergency department shifts. But, I've been attempting to mentally review my time there now that I have officially completed my 120 hours. So, here are some lessons learned and things remembered.

1. Do NOT under any circumstance make the nurses mad/annoyed. Or remind them they are hungry.
2. If you walk around purposefully, people will think you have a purpose.
3. Drunk people are exponentially more dumb in a hospital.
4. Drunk patients are the worst.
5. Never step on the chest saw cord.
6. Doctors are people.
7. Pitbulls may be dangerous, but they make for some very anatomically educational injuries.
8. In most cases of broken bottles v. frat boy faces, frat boy faces lose.
9. Dumb people should not carry 38's.
10. Those same dumb people should not smoke weed while attempting to handle 38's that "aren't theirs."
11. Patients are people.
12. Teach your children how to dial 911.
13. If you have made the decision to drink all day, make the decision NOT to continue drinking on a poorly gated third story balcony.
14. Its unrealistic to wear Converse shoes while riding a motorcycle and expect to escape an accident with all of your toes.
15. When a trauma surgeon tells you it's time for surgery, it's time for surgery.
16. Sometimes broken necklaces can look like bullets in an X-ray.
17. The ED is a cold place. Wear layers.
18. 97 years old is too old to be jumping on a couch.
19. Neurosurgeons stand out. They just do.
    
20. Scrubs are not flattering.
21. Sometimes the Emergency Department is exactly like ER.
22. Most of the time the Emergency Department is nothing like ER.
23. Defibrillators really do make that Hollywood "charging" sound AND people really do say "clear!"
24. Anesthesiologists have it MADE.
25. XXL wheel chairs are not easy to maneuver.
26. Sometimes miracles do happen.
27. Putting on sterile gloves is SO much harder than they make it look on Grey's.
28. Po-go sticks are good precursors to broken noses.
29. Elmer's glue + gauze = an effective way to remove cactus spines.
    
30. The human body has some very "interesting" smells.
    
31. Chaplains can bring more comfort than doctors and pain meds.
32. 12 hours is a long time.